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credits

released August 28, 2015

Beau Diamond - vocals, guitar
CJ Wagner - drums
Aaron Buchanan - bass
Conor Schulte - guitar

Recorded live at Spell House Studios by Jimmie Atchley

Artwork by Beau Diamond

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about

Beau Diamond St Louis, Missouri

Beau Diamond is a 22 year-old singer-songwriter from High Ridge, Missouri, and is backed by the Collective Dream Band. His music has been categorized as "dynamic folk", which combines elements of punk, garage rock, and indie folk.

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Track Name: Whiskey
Christians are drinking the blood of the Lord
Into my own cup only whiskey is poured
To drown all my demons, they insist waging war
Just to play it safe I think I'll have one more

I've tried to be thankful for all that I've got
I've tried to stay postive, these days I'm not
I can't shake the feeling I'll end up alone
an only child playing with a tin-can phone

I've grown quite dependent on family and friends
an emotional bond I both love and resent
It's said that all good things must come to an end
Yeah the day's gonna come, I'm just not quite sure when

But when it arrives I hope I feel prepared
And not confined to my bed hopeless and scared
Yeah I've gotta move on, there's not a moment to spare
Take comfort in knowing at one time they cared

I'm having trouble adjusting feeling my childhood rusting
Flaking away and leaving this base coat underneath
All this grinning and bearing has taken a toll on my teeth

I once fell in love with a girl in a dream
I leaned in to kiss her, she turned into steam
Right before she left, when she disappeared
she left me with nothing, including my fear

"Pay never mind to that voice in your head
It'll lead you to anger, think this thought instead
This world will remember you long after you're dead
A mellifluent melody stuck in our heads"

The words "I love you" poured out
Like cigarette smoke from my foolish mouth
Anxiously awaiting to see how she would respond

The following moments felt like
An eon apiece till she replied
"I love you too darling, you are my
light that brings the dawn
From this moment on, you're never alone"
Track Name: Vagrant's Journey
I've never taken kindly to the government
I avoid the church and school system too
They supersede freethinking with their fascist point-of-views
I don't enjoy being told what to do

And perhaps that's the reason I've been wandering around
On my journey across the land
I came to your old city with a twelve-string on my back
A dream and lighter in hand

You know I don't have a crystal ball
There's no way of foretelling when I will fall
Till then let's get together you can list my flaws
I'm sure you've seen them all

I've tried to gain some clarity in a world of insincerity
It's a rarity in this declining age
To find someone for you to love, gaze up at the space above
Grant the peace that quells your inner rage

I used to wanna be an archaeologist
Uncovering the secrets of mankind
But over time I've learned some things are better off forgotten
Just move forward, leave the past behind

I used to think anything was possible
I used to think that I might change this world
I used to think I should always listen to my heart
I think I might have had it wrong since the start

You know I don't have a crystal ball
There's no way of foretelling when I will fall
Till then let's get together you can list my flaws
I'm sure you've seen them all

I've tried to gain some clarity in a world of insincerity
It's a rarity in this declining age
To find someone for you to love, gaze up at the space above
Grant the peace that quells your inner rage

I've tried to gain some clarity in a world of insincerity
It's a rarity in this declining age

I've tried to gain some clarity in a world of insincerity
It's impossible in this declining age
To find someone for you to love, gaze up at the space above
Grant the peace that quells my inner rage

My maker gave me skin and bones with an undying urge to roam
But I'm feeling like it's time to go back home
Track Name: A Lot to Lose
I used to know an amazing girl
The most beautiful thing to ever enter my world
She'd be an heiress to their fortune if she followed their rules
I never had nothing but some holes in my shoes

She was still into me

I remember we used to go to the park
We'd stay and drink our coffee until the sky went dark
The glare of the lights painted us vermilion
By the edge of the river, we sat under that pavilion

Until one day she looked at me
and said, "You're much too good for me"

She told me her secret tied to low self-esteem
I replied, "In my eyes, darling you are a dream"
Then I placed my trembling hands upon her hips
Leaned in, kissed her lips

Then we both got lost
The moment had no flaws
Trapped in a time
When the wrong words always seem to rhyme

My adoration of her was a bittersweet curse
She wanted me bad, and hell I wanted her worse
Well now it wasn't long, until I gave her my heart
When she said she couldn't keep it, man I fell apart

But her parents wouldn't approve
She had a lot to lose

So we ceased to exist in the figurative sense
But her skin I still crave, the pretty smile I miss
If she made her way back into town, we'd have a rendezvous
Retreat to hallowed ground

And just pretend
That we're right back there again
Trapped in a time
When the wrong words always seem to...

Trapped in a time
When the wrong words always seem to rhyme
Track Name: Bleeding Heartless
Lately I ain't been doing so well
Can't escape from my personal hell
I guess in a way that I've only myself to blame
But I truly can't handle this all
I've been breaking down in a shopping mall
A call to my mother is all that kept me sane

Perpetually lost in a conniption fit
I try to keep calm, but I can't seem to quit
Letting the thread that holds me together come loose
Until I start to think, how could anyone not
Be equally damaged, feel so distraught
I try to stomach just watching the five o'clock news

So I've realized that all of mankind is a
Bastard child to Father Time
Who made a whore of our sweet Mother Earth
With no decent example set
We treat her in ways that we'll soon regret
As we start to see that it's only ourselves we've hurt

So I've learned that my life will be hard
I've been placed on the face of a playing card
You made me your king so I put a sword through my crown
My Queen of Hearts left me, decided to bolt, so
Tell me brother, who wouldn't fold
I waste away rotting in this empty house

Oh I know I can be so mean
I'll tie you up and bathe you with gasoline
Then sarcastically ask you if you want to smoke
Yet you see some good in a broken man
Knowing I'm trying the best that I can
Attempting to keep my balance on the tightrope
Track Name: When You Were Alive
It's been said that once we're dead
Our bodies rot, conscious extinguished
Like a candle's suffocated flame
If this is true, I'm confused
Why would you ever want to lose
Your life like it's just a schoolyard game

Please keep all sharp objects away from your arm
Don't be foolish causing yourself harm

Today I read that you were dead
My heart was filled with such regret
Why didn't I interfere
I should have called the cops on you, but
As a friend I didn't wanna intrude
But maybe if I did, you'd still be here

Your tombstone tells me that you're resting in peace
Your spirit yet keeps troubling me

It's been said that once we're dead
Our soul clings to the corpse that's left
Like your bloodstains to the floor
I don't believe that this is true
I think there's still a chance for you
To cross over through that open door

Don't be afraid to walk toward the light
You are limitless my friend, so take flight
And now as you ascend into the sky
I hope you finally feel that high

You were craving when you were alive
Track Name: The Blushing Horizon
The sun was passing over the horizon
concealed by ambiguous haze
so I held up a shard of Iceland spar
to capture the golden god's rays

I've walked through the slums of Chicago
I've walked through the Valley of Kings
I've walked through the woods to my best friend's neighborhood
and I always walk with you in my dreams

These nightmares have rendered me terrified
I'm reciting the "Our Father" in my sleep
but I only recite prayer when I am scared
I hope the Lord forgives me

I used to dream I'd be a famous singer
I guess I still do now and then
people do not seem to like my voice, but more so how I write
I guess I'm better off with paper and pen

The sun was going on the horizon
a gesture that's always well-received
for at dawn the blushing sky is filled with climactic light
a sign the horizon is pleased
Track Name: Vivid Recollection
The air was thick from that altitude
But I learned it's best not to assume
That you're gonna be met by an early death
If you find it hard to catch your breath
Pull yourself together child
Your mind it's racing and running wild
The world's wicked, might drive you mad
Might make you feel like you wanna turn back

You're already too far gone
When stagnancy's the enemy, keep moving along

I met a dime with jet-black hair who
Made it known that she did not care
About much of anything
Indifferent toward what the future might bring

What a way to live
If you're life is lacking passion, well then all you'll ever do is exist

Days keep coming and go by fast
Time keeps slipping through the hourglass
I think back to those summer nights
When we gazed up at exploding lights

Fireflies and baseball fields
My recollection's vivid and refuses to yield
Our long-lost teenage kiss
The love that fueled my passion now only in my memory exists

I'm feeling like an aeroplane that's
Heading straight for the hurricane
Drawn in by the peaceful eye of Death
This hunk of metal will be torn to shreds

I'm on a one-way trip
If you never find the wreckage, well then tell me did I ever exist

Tell me did I ever exist
Tell me did I ever exist
If you never find the wreckage sugahh, tell me did I ever exist
Track Name: Generation A.D.D.
Had a soul, but I cashed it in for
Two dollars and twenty-seven cents
I needed money to drive myself to work
Some days I feel I'd be better off dead
But my best friend said this is all in my head
I've got the potential to potentially leave my mark
So I keep writing my songs hoping
Somebody will sing along
I grow so tired of singing alone

And I've realized the power of my words
Might not ever be enough to shake the earth
There's really just one thing that's been my motive from the start
These words I write might aid in a weary heart
Maintaining its shape when it's falling apart

I was born back in '93
At the dawn of Generation A.D.D.
My lack of interest might drive you mad
An urbane mouth and a dirty mind
I'm oversexed, never satisfied
But it don't mean you ain't the best I ever had

And I've realized we sometimes tend to rush
Into forcing someone else to be our emotional crutch, well now
Don't you hold it against them, don't hold a grudge
If the weight for them starts to be too much
For otherwise, you both will end up crushed

I hear people talking shit
Always urging me it's time to quit
They say it all so condescendingly
Well wishing on those shooting stars
Might not ever take you too damn far
But it got me right where I would like to be

So try your best please not to grow so cold
That you forget those moments, they shine brighter than gold
Darling, life can be beautiful
Or so I'm told
Track Name: Sense of Touch
The general consensus as I understood
was that I smoke and drink far more than I should
They said, "You need to quit sleeping around"
"Your voice needs a purer sound"

Well have you found what you were looking for
In an album you either hate or adore
There's no common ground when it comes to feeling ignored

Feeling pretty in your high-heeled shoes
That compliment the sorrow in your baby blues
Sliding into that ruby dress
That brightens your day when you're in distress

You try your best to cover up the naked truth
With a closet's worth of distractions, all size 2
Choosing to ignore the elephant in the room
A sense of touch is a dreadful thing to lose

It took me twenty years to realize
That the feeling of belonging is a beautiful lie
We're all just pieces of puzzles with no place to fit
When you try to force me in, your image looks like shit

So won't you quit telling me I'm a shooting star breaking the mold
For I know that it's not true and these cliches are getting old

I was the leader of the pack, I was the alpha male
Then the other wolves decided they could fend for themselves
I've traveled through this wilderness, all alone
I've been howling at the moon, now where the hell should I go

I was once told all good things must come to an end
Yeah soon I'll be forgotten, I'm just your passing trend
I'm a designer drug that was laced with fraudulence

There's a fine line between companionship and love
The latter kills you in the absence of your freedom
So the next time I reach out for you to take my hand
Could you remind me how it felt to be an anchored man

I worked my fingers to the bone, said goodbye to my sanity
Just to bring you half an hour of emotional release
It's been roughly seven years since I got a good night's sleep
Now this album's finally finished, I can rest in peace